ONE YEAR OLD

Posted by kara

We made it! One year old. I’m so proud of us. There have been some challenging times and a lot of tiring times (I don’t remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed), but all of that is greatly outweighed by the joyous times. This little baby has brought pure happiness to our lives. That may sound cheesy and cliché, but I don’t know how else to describe the feeling.

Toshi is a wonderful daughter. She loves dancing to music, loves whispering “hi”, shows affection by head-butting, snatches away eyeglasses within reach, and likes flopping on the couch. It has been so fun getting to know her. And I love that I get to be with her everyday.

Happy birthday, baby! (Toddler?)

It’s crazy to think that a year ago, I was going from preggie to mommy. When I think back on the whole birthing experience, this is most of what I remember:

1. I told Paul that I really didn’t mind if he went into work. I could tell he already had his mind made up that he was staying home. He then worked on his computer most of the day.

2. I remember lying in bed, trying to figure out a position that made the contractions hurt less. (I never figured it out.) I would count how long they lasted. Paul was positive that I was counting slow. We argued for a bit about whose count was correct. True, he used a watch, but I was sure that I was counting accurately. By his count, my contractions were a minute long.

3. I remember sitting at my computer and having a contraction so bad that I dropped to the floor on my hands and knees. It was pretty intense and I could see that Paul was still at his computer, working away.

4. I remember driving on Mercer Street and having another contraction. I thought two things: “I can’t believe there is rush hour traffic at 4pm– shouldn’t everyone be working?” and “I wish we had a pink flashing light that would let people know there might be a woman in labor in this car.”

5. I remember feeling embarrassed about taking our overnight/labor stuff into the doctors office. I don’t remember if we took it in or if I convinced Paul that we could leave it in the car. I just knew that I wasn’t in real labor yet.

6. I remember one really bad contraction in the labor room. I leaned on Paul, slowly counted to ten and was just about to ask for an epidural, but then the contraction abated.

7. I remember the doctor telling me I couldn’t push yet and I remember feeling so uncomfortable– like I was going to die if I didn’t push. Not pushing was the hardest part of delivery.

8. I remember asking the doctor if she could just pull the baby out. She didn’t seem to be doing much. Why was I the one doing everything?

9. I remember Toshi looking up at me. Blue gray eyes. She was prettier than I thought she’d be!

10. I remember being too excited to sleep. I just watched Toshi sleep in her little plastic bassinet.

11. I remember not wanting to move or sit up. (It hurt.) Those beds are too high. I could barely get on or off them. Poor Paul changed all of Toshi’s diapers. I never did see that meconium!

12. I remember deciding not to wait for a wheelchair. They said it would be about an hour and a half to get an escort. So I slowly walked, carrying my backpack and the jackets. I got out of breath! I kept getting slower and slower. I eventually made it to the car, but next time I’m getting the wheelchair.

13. I remember thinking that I should never give birth again. I think I had one of the best case scenarios, and yet, I still didn’t want to ever do it again. But since this is all I remember, it couldn’t have been that bad, right?

Hmmm. This reminds me of how AJ always reads Ragged’s birth story to him on his birthday (today). I think she’s onto something. 😉 Happy birthday, Ragged! We miss you and your pandaemoose ways.