Dear Future Kara

Posted by kara

Dear Future Kara,

Hi! How are you? Well-rested? Did you finally lose that baby pouch? Well, no worries… desserts and carbs are delicious, so I understand.

I’m just writing to remind you of real life with two little girls. I know you’ll be nostalgic and miss the time when your girls were cute little babies, so I thought you’d need a reminder so you don’t get too sad. Yes, life is good and they are super amazing… but seriously, it’s not all roses.*

First of all, waking up twice a night to feed a baby is exhausting. You don’t fall asleep right away, you wake up multiple times a night (even if she’s sleeping longer), and you have trouble telling real life from dreams and distinguishing one day from the next. Of course, you never know when Toshi will wake up in the middle of the night or at 5am. But that mainly means that Paul doesn’t get sleep, or you have to try to sleep through the Meeska-Mooska-Mickey Mouse!

Your arms feel like they may fall off. Your hand freezes stiff from holding Martha’s head flopped back (the only way she’ll sleep). You’ve walked the circular floor plan about a zillion times these past three months. (Not including the bazillion times Paul has walked it with Martha.) When Paul holds Martha, you do dishes or laundry and it feels soooo luxurious.

Toshi gets Martha sick. Martha cries because she can’t breathe and her coughing must be hurting her throat. Martha’s crying makes Toshi cry. Toshi refuses to recognize the fact that feeding Martha means you can’t get up and make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for a snack. Martha scratches her face and claws at her eyes, then cries like a wild cat. After putting Toshi down for a nap, you just hear yelling and yelling. Finally she falls asleep. Then Martha starts crying and wakes up Toshi. Toshi is sensitive and short-tempered from her lack of sleep. Toshi is inconsolable that you don’t have time to change Fresh Beat Band to Max & Ruby because you are trying to cook dinner and quiet Martha down at the same time. Martha finally falls asleep. You ask Toshi to be quiet. She is pretty quiet, except for the pounding of her feet and the loud rolling sound of her stroller scraping across the tile and linoleum. That wakes up Martha. She cries. Toshi gets upset. I’m tired.

It’s hard to describe the feeling. I just need one or two more of me. Then I could keep both girls relatively happy and take care of the household. It’s not bad… it’s just a constant test of patience and endurance. So, enjoy having older kids that understand reason and know how to blow their noses. Go on a fun family trip or sleep in on the weekend! Do not be sad. Just go visit your friends’ babies. (Surely they all have tons nowadays.)

Yours,
30-yr-old Kara

* Okay, Martha just smiled at me and Toshi let me cuddle with her a little longer. Man, these kids are so cute!