Two Months Old!

Posted by kara

Today Toshi is two months old. We had her doctor appointment this morning. It was exhausting. First of all, I had to park 2 blocks away because the parking lot was full. So I lugged her car seat and tried to hold an umbrella over her, but I don’t think it did any good. As I was waiting in line, the people behind me were looking at Toshi. I must admit that I’m not shy about letting people see my cute little girl. But maybe I should have been, because when I looked down at her, she had her hood covering her whole face. Another check mark for the Bad Mommy column. The nice part of the appointment was I talked to another mom who had an adorable 9 month old boy. He was so cute and kept talking to me in grrr’s. She told me the secret to having a 3.5 yr old and a baby was to strap the baby to you so you can have 2 hands free for the toddler. Makes sense!

Second of all, this was the first doctor appointment without Paul’s help. So when Toshi started crying, I tried to soothe her, but failed. I know Paul could have gotten her to stop. By the time the nurse arrived with her 3 shots, she was all revved up with tears. At the first shot, so was so surprised she momentarily stopped crying. By the second shot, her face had turned a deep red and she was wailing. Luckily the nurse was quick and left me alone with my crying baby. There isn’t much worse than people witnessing you unable to soothe your crying baby.

Although one thing worse is SIDS. Just when I was starting to get confident and let my worries of SIDS slide, the doctor tells me that it peaks from 2 to 6 months. Ahhhh! Maybe I should start watching her sleep. I don’t know. It scares the heck out of me. The only comforting thought (and I’m not sure this is a real medical advantage) is that Toshi startles herself all the time. So I’m hoping that she will startle herself if anything stops working. Man. Why does something like SIDS exist? I wish it was a physical being so I could beat it up.

Anyway, the doctor said she looked good and her growth was good. She is now a healthy 11 lbs. 6 oz. I think she is 22 inches long. That puts her in the 50% for length and 75% for weight! Her head is in the 50-75%. Atta girl!

(pics of her after the appointment sleeping in her car seat and of her band-aids)

Before two months ago, I had a general idea of what kind of parent I would be. Turns out, I was wrong. I find myself doing things that I promised myself I wouldn’t do. Not that one way is better than another… the point is that you just have to do what you are comfortable with! (Something Amy keeps reminding me.) And you don’t know what that is until you are in the thick of it.

Top Ten Things I Am Surprised I Do:

10. Give pacifier to her before she was 4 weeks old.

9. Feel really bad when she is crying. (I thought I’d be tough and rational about her crying, but it does get to me.)

8. Think that her sleeping is just as good as when she is awake. (I hope that doesn’t sound mean. She is so much happier when she gets a lot of sleep.)

7. Feed her to comfort her, even if I think she isn’t really hungry.

6. Plaster her pictures all over my computer and be surprisingly pleased whenever I see them.

5. Clutter the living room with big baby toys/play gym/playard. You can’t even walk through our living room without tripping on something.

4. Watching TV and movies with the closed captioning on. Making minimal noise when she is asleep.

3. Doubt myself as a good parent. I always thought I’d be a great mom until Toshi was actually born. Then I felt nothing but questions.

2. Not eating when I’m hungry. Eating only when there is time to eat. Eating so fast that I don’t taste the food.

1. Talking about myself in the third person. “Does Mommy love Toshi? Yessss!”

There you have it! My confessions.