To Kindergarten or Not To Kindergarten

Posted by kara

This fall we had a conference with Martha’s preschool teachers, and they both thought she would be ready for kindergarten next fall. Then in January, as enrollment was creeping up, I dropped an email to Martha’s teacher just to double check that she was on track for kindergarten. Her teacher replied that she is academically ready, but might benefit from another year of preschool to develop socially and emotionally.

What?

Everything she said was not a surprise. She said her concerns were that Martha was not interested in playing with peers, Martha isn’t confident in her gross motor skills, and Martha takes a long time to complete tasks.

I feel like the rug was pulled out beneath me. I was all geared up for kindergarten and not looking back at preschool at all. So we talked to lots of family, friends, and neighbors to see what thoughts were out there. It seems that the popular belief is that waiting until kids are older for kindergarten has many benefits and very few, if any, drawbacks. Of course, there were some that say they put their kids in early and it went just fine.

But what if it isn’t just fine? I feel about 90% sure that Martha would be fine in kindergarten this fall. But what if she gets frustrated with how fast she has to complete tasks? What if she feels like she doesn’t relate to the kids? What if she just needs a few more months of more attention to be ready? The last thing I want is for her to feel upset about school in the first couple years. Those are supposed to be the fun years (even though it’s way more academic heavy nowadays).

Part of me feels like she should suck it up and go. Go and grow. The other part of me feels like she should have the best possible situation to work to her advantage.

Paul mentioned that after he did the research, he feels like we’d be bad parents if we didn’t hold her back. I agree, but my gut says she’s ready.

Anita made some good points about how kindergarten these days expect so much from kids. And at the end of school, they won’t have even turned 6 yet. Maybe they should move the cut off birthday to the end of school.

Steph said that holding back Ben felt counter-intuitive. That is exactly how I feel.

Martha is making strides in playing with peers. She is more outgoing and greeting friends when she sees them. She is playing with them at recess.

Then again, one more year of childhood sounds good to me. Being older when she goes away to college would make me feel better. I did want the girls to be closer in grades, but if there is one thing I’ve learned in parenting, it’s that you cannot control things. You just do what’s best for your family. And that is what we need to figure out.